I get this question a LOT. A lot lot. Someone asked again on Tuesday at the evening Babywearing meeting. Here’s my secret. I don’t.

Here’s something to think about. The people in your life who continue to try to engage you in discussion about the choices you’re making do so because they continue to believe that you care what they think, and that they might be able to convince you. They continue to believe this because you continue to engage in conversation with them about it.

Stop talking about it. Problem solved.

“But, Sarah, I don’t bring it up! They do!”

Right, but do you answer? Stop. Don’t be rude, just don’t engage. “You know, that baby’s never going to learn to sleep on his own.” “Oh, we’re not worried about it. Hey, that reminds me, we’ve been hoping you’d share your recipe for corn salad. Do you happen to have that handy, and I can jot it down while I’m thinking of it?”

I’ve found that children are particularly good for these sudden subject changes. “What, are you still going to be breastfeeding when he’s in college?” “ha ha, maybe. <turn to child> Uh oh, I think you need a clean diaper!”

A recent one from my life. “You should coat a pacifier with honey to get her to take it.” “Hm. That’s something to think about. Oh, hey…(on to another subject).” And I did think about it. For like 2 seconds.

This is how I do it, personally. My family and friends stopped commenting when Wally was about a year old. I know they comment to themselves. That’s fine. They don’t comment to me. They know it is pointless.

Some people (like my husband) take a different approach. It works for him, but I don’t think everyone can pull this off. Randy’s snotty. “What are you still going to be breastfeeding when he’s in college?” “Well, we hope he goes to Drake, so he can pop over between classes for a snack.”

“But, Sarah, isn’t it better to try to educate those around me?”

Of course. And certainly give it a try, at first. I don’t suggest disengaging from the get-go. When you first make a new, controversial decision (like cloth diapering, you wild and crazy parent), people are bound to express their opinions, and most of these opinions will be based on misinformation. Absolutely, giving correct information is a good idea. Answering questions is a good idea. Many, many customers have been pleasantly surprised to find that family and friends were supportive of their decisions (including cosleeping or not vaccinating) once they understood the facts and/or the reasons.

But there are always going to be those people who won’t listen, or who don’t care, or who are just certain that their way is the right – the only – way. And that’s fine. We all have things we’re not willing to bend on. Then there is the small percentage who not only are convinced that you’re crazy, but who feel the need to constantly remind you of that. That is NOT ok. That’s when I recommend the “Oh, ok, thanks for your thoughts, change the subject” approach.

“But what if that doesn’t work?”

If you’ve tried talking reason, and then you’ve tried just disengaging, and it’s still not better after a while (at least a few months – it took some people in my life nearly a year to give up), perhaps you need to sit down and talk about setting limits. “I really love how much you care for the kids. (insert related compliment here.) But…” then talk about how their actions make you feel, and ask for their help in settling on a solution. Maybe they could agree to try to keep their comments to themselves. Maybe it gets to a point that you have to limit contact.

“But I really want to convince them! If only they would see how awesome babywearing/cloth diapering/cosleeping/whatever is, their lives would be changed for the better!”

Yes, maybe. But I personally think that this goal is unreasonable for at least 80% of relatives and probably 50% of friends.

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Also, this should go without saying, but needs to be said. Do NOT complain about sensitive things to these people. If someone in your life disagrees with cosleeping, then don’t tell them that you’re tired because you were up all night with the baby. If someone in your life wants you to stop breastfeeding, don’t mention that your toddler recently started biting and you’re frustrated.

The reasoning here is two-fold. First, you’re probably seeking support in these situations, and you’re not likely to get it. Instead, you’re likely to get criticism. Second, if you’re really frustrated by the situation, you might find yourself starting to be swayed by this criticism, or well-intended but bad advice. “Oh, honey, just put him in his own bed and let him cry… you’ll feel so much better with a full night of sleep.” It can start to sound pretty good to a tired mom when presented by someone who really believes this is a great idea. You might decide to try it. You might hate yourself in the morning.

I think this might be the other half of my successful formula. One half disengaging, the other half showing no fear and absolute confidence. Part of the reason that my parenting choices don’t come up is that I never, ever discuss them.

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Now, let me note that this is also a LOT like parenting. When we are having some difficulty with our children, one of the first things we should do is check to make sure that our expectations are in line with reality. It is not realistic to expect a 2 year old to sit still through an hour-long wedding, for example. So the first thing to do is adjust your expectations. It IS reasonable to expect a 2 year old to sit still for PART of the wedding with quiet toys, and then maybe need a bit more interaction from you to make it through the rest of the service. This is called being realistic.

It’s the same thing here. With some people, it’s not realistic to believe that you’re ever going to convince them. So you need to adjust your expectations.

I’ve wanted to post about Bamboo for a while, but I knew just enough to be dangerous, and not enough to write a fully-educated post about it. Bamboo is, essentially, Rayon. Rayon is a funny fabric – it starts as something natural (trees, or bamboo) but goes through so much processing that it pretty much loses most of the properties of the material it started out as. And this processing is highly toxic. So, Bamboo, like other rayons, is not the eco-super-fabric it’s often portrayed as, particularly in the Cloth diapering community.

So as I’ve been mulling over how to post this without making everyone say “oh, yeah, prove it” and me being all “um, I can’t,” the wonderful Kathleen over at Fashion Incubator comes through again with her recent blog post all about Bamboo fabrics.

The FTC is concerned that consumers are being misled by greenwashing. Although rayon is a natural but man made fabric, rayon production is highly toxic (Avtex, the largest EPA Super Fund clean up site was a rayon plant). …

Claims of bamboo superiority are widespread on the internet and must be critically considered. For example, one site attempts to make the case for bamboo (rayon) by comparing it to cotton when a fairer comparison is to compare bamboo rayon to regular rayon. In truth, the only advantage appears to be that bamboo is quickly replenished but caveats (below) abound. Regardless, this advantage is comparatively negligible because regular rayon is made of wood recycled from lumber processing. Another site bolsters their claims of bamboo’s lower toxic load by employing a bait and switch, launching into a description of the lyocell process that is not (yet) used in bamboo rayon production. Unless one reads carefully, one can be easily misled to believe bamboo rayon production is less toxic and superior to regular rayon or cotton production and this has yet to be proven.

You really should go read the rest of her post. If you’re not a manufacturer, you have my permission to skip over the parts about labeling.

One thing that has constantly irritated me my entire adult life is misleading marketing language. The sneaky kind.

This is Part Two of a two part series.

Part Two: Implying your product is Unique when it is not.

“Contains no Fat!” on a package of Gummy Bears.

Gummy bears, and any food product that is all sugar, flavoring, and coloring, of course do not contain fat. But tossing “FAT FREE” on your packaging, when it’s not on your competitor’s packaging, is a marketing attempt to make your product stand out.

“Innovative design.” “Unsurpassed ____.” “Best _____ in the industry.” “Truly unique.” “The most _____ available.”

These can be tricky because sometimes they are actually true. SOME designs of diapers, carriers, shirts, purses, cars, anything ARE innovative. Most are not.

As most smart consumers probably already know, take any marketing type language with a grain of salt when you’re shopping!

One thing that has constantly irritated me my entire adult life is misleading marketing language. The sneaky kind.

This is Part One of a two part series.

Part One: Incorrect Implications

The kind like I posted about on my essay about my Fitted Diapers. (One website’s claim that their turned and topstitched diapers didn’t have “ruffly edges that irritate baby’s skin.”) I mean, I turn and topstitch my dipes, too. But I’m not walking around making things up about ruffly edges irritating baby’s skin. Because they really don’t, unless your baby has skin that can’t stand to have any fabric edges touching it, and then you’ve got bigger problems on your hands. (I’m allowing for the possibility that some children do have skin that gets irritated by overcast edges.)

I try to avoid marketing hype. Things that are technically true (the diaper in question did not have ruffly edges to irritate baby’s skin), but are based on misleading the reader into believing things that are not true (that ruffly – overcast – edges would irritate baby’s skin).

Usually, these types of statements are negative statements using “no” or “never.” If I said, for example, that my diapers contain no arsenic to poison your baby. That is technically true. But what are the underlying implications? First, that arsenic is dangerous to babies. Does arsenic in fact kill babies? Yes. Then it’s a good thing these diapers don’t contain it, right?

What else does the statement imply? That OTHER diapers do in fact contain arsenic. Why else would I bring it up, right? So keep asking yourself questions. “Are they implying that other diapers contain arsenic? Maybe. Do other diapers contain arsenic? Likely not.”

Let’s do another one.

Our diapers close with hook-and-loop tape so there are no nasty snaps to pinch baby’s tender skin. (I’ve never seen this one anywhere, I made it up.) So let’s look at it. Technically, the statement is true. But what is the implication? That snaps pinch baby’s skin. Do snaps on diapers actually pinch baby’s skin? It would be difficult to see how this would be possible.

But! This is where it gets tricky. Not all “no” statements are misleading marketing hype. For example, if I say that Wrapsody Bali Baby Stretch wraps are a stretch hybrid that does not sag like most jersey wraps do. Let’s evaluate this one. What am I implying? That most other jersey wraps sag. Do most other jersey wraps sag? Generally speaking, yes, they do.

How are you, the shopper, to know this? It pays to do your homework, or to use common sense. In this case, learning about the different types of wraps, reading reviews, and talking to other parents would likely get you the information that completely stretchy wraps are super comfortable for newborns, but saggy with older babies.

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So, when you’re out there shopping – and baby products are WAY WORSE than anything else for this – be wary of what is truth and what is marketing hype. Marketing hype is technically true, but implies things that are not true.

By and large, I have liked Fashion Incubator since finding them a while back.  But I part ways with them over some of their thoughts re: CPSIA. (And pardon typos, I’m typing with my left hand, Wally sleeping/nursing/coughing in my right arm and Genna sleeping on my left upper arm.)

Here is a quote from their website about tiny businesses:

Tiny enterprises, self described (many are no different from us)
Which brings me to the tiniest of producers who stand the most to gain. Yes they do. Yes, I get that their homes and livelihoods will be dramatically affected in the same ways one would be impacted if one suddenly lost their job (no different than stitchers being put out of work when the largest producers go under). Some of them are making up household budget shortfalls and may have to go to work leaving their kids in daycare, definitely an unpalatable choice. Some may have difficulty securing work. However, of everyone, they have the most flexibility because they can react to produce basically the day market conditions change. I do predict some big changes in this market though. It will be more difficult for them to use fabrics they buy at the store because they most likely won’t be able to get certifications from retailers. In some ways it could be good because it will force them to overcome some trepidation and attend a wholesale fabric show. If you know where to shop, minimums just aren’t that high and you do have to know how to talk to people.

With respect to the tiniest of producers, I think an issue that has not been discussed openly is the conflict born of entitlement, often expressed in blogs and forums across the web as “freedom”. As the system existed, they had the freedom and entitlement to conduct their affairs as they saw fit and it won’t be that way anymore. It is only natural to resent that. We all resent forced change but it’s not practical to wallow in it or throw fits about it. Even under ideal modifications, this law will force many to either become more professional or get into something else. If this is something you love, it can only rankle being forced to put on a suit that’s too new or big for you. The truth is though, the only difference between many Etsy and eBay sellers and members of our forum is not company size but professionalism (for some reason, visitors and forum guests think we’re all big companies).

Tgis may be true for small apparel manufacturers. But I know, well, for one thing, going to a wholesale fabric show is not an option for me. First, I do not think it is likely appropriate to attend with small children. I am unwilling to travel overnight sans chidren – particularly those under 1 year old. Travel as a familu is impractical unless we want to forgo vacation and use dh’s vacation time to go to trade shows instead.

Second, wholesale minimums might not be that large if you know where to shop (and I know where to shop for the fabrics I use a lot of). But they’re certainly higher than 2 yards, which is my typical purchase for print fabrics (other than flannel). Two yards will make four Mei Tais, and four MTs is typically all I want/can sell from any particular print. 2.5 yards will make one ring sling. Two yards will make dozens of Cycle Pad Bags, six changing pads, three large wet bags, or about 6 small diaper outers.

I could certainly increase that, but even going up to a bolt (let’s say a bolt of the average cotton print is 8 yards) gives me 24 changing pads from that bolt. Consider that I typically restock 20 changing pads at a time, at least a dozen prints per restocking, it will take me over a year to go through just a single bolt of fabric.

Carrying that logic and math through to the conclusion, I will be able to offer far, far fewer prints. Much, much less variety.

Third, then continuning with the above point, I have less variety. Let’s say that currently, over the course of the year, I sell 100 MT carriers. Each of those 100 carriers are different. With having to buy fabric wholesale, I’ll be able to offer only 10 different prints. This will likely then appeal to fewer people resulting in fewer sales. Most of us very small diaper and sling makers rely on our variety to remain competitive. Everyone has the Frog Pond print from Bummis. Not too many people have the Cats In Space print from Wallypop.

Fourth, oddly, I currently get Better Than Wholesale prices by buying retail. I know, it’s crazy. But if I shop right, with sales or coupons or special discounts, I get my twill for less than what I could realistically get it for wholesale. Same with flannel. Because unless I’m willing to buy in serious bulk, I can’t get the really really good prices, I just get the sorta good prices. So having to buy wholesale actually makes my costs go up. My costs go up = my prices go up. My prices go up = less competitive against the “big guys” = fewer sales = no reason to buy fabric wholesale because I can’t go through it. It’s a circle. A bad circle.

Fifth, because I’m so small, I do have a lot more flexibility. I also have a much smaller margin. I truly cannot afford to NOT be able to use the fabrics and supplies I currently have in stock. There is a chance I could sell them off, but I really don’t run a fabric store. (The few fabrics I do sell for home sewers are almost more of a pain than they’re worth – it’s the very least efficient part of my operation.)

Now, I get their point. All this is part of being “more professional.” Yes. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s like when I gripe about home sewers who start selling their extras for a little extra income. They can dodge a lot of expenses I can’t since I’m an actual business. (Insurance, compliance with the law, respecting zoning ordinances, labeling laws, collecting sales tax, expenses involved in maintaining accurate records, etc.) I’ve had customers ask why my dipes, which are largely the same as Jo Schmoe’s down the street, cost more. She’s not a business; I am.

The same would be true of why my stuff is less expensive than some of the bigger companies’ and maybe I just need to suck it up and “grow up.”

But I don’t want to, darnit! (picture me on the floor throwing a tantrum.) But it’s more than not wanting to. It’s knowing that I can’t survive in the middle ground. I have to either stay very small like I am, or I have to actually be a big company. And Wallypop was never supposed to be a big company. It cannot and will not move out of my basement until my children are also out of my basement.

I want to draw your attention to an interesting problem created by the CPSC – manufacturers of products for children may go out of business due to inability to afford to comply with a new law set to go into effect in February. It’s essentially the government’s response to the consumer outcry over lead found in children’s toys over the last few years. While I certainly support the effort to eliminate lead from children’s toys, these new regulations will really eliminate the smaller manufacturers, leaving consumers with only the large manufacturers and importers.

While I’m still trying to figure out whether I am affected, and to what extent, it does seem clear that those who make toys for children will have to adhere to some pretty stiff testing requirements. The required testing is pretty expensive, and not ultimately worth it for many home-based or even small factory-based businesses.

Fashion Incubator has a blog post that explains this in more detail and the Handmade Toy Alliance has good info, as well. And also National Bankruptcy Day. Those sites all also have links to the actual legislation for your perusal.

And, ps, this is why I think less government involvement in industry is a good thing. And an example of why government-run or provided health care scares the crap out of me. I love the US. But I think that the US government, as a unit, is unable to do anything right.

Hello! Wallypop will be closed for our annual vacation during the month of July. I will process orders through June 30. I will continue to accept Made To Order items through June 30, as well, but will post a note once I’ve reached the point that I will be unable to complete orders before closing. Orders placed after that notice is posted will be completed in August.

In years past, I’ve left the website active and accepting orders during my vacation. This year, I will close completely and will not accept any orders while I’m closed. I also will not be responding to non-emergency emails and I will not be returning non-emergency phone calls.

There are exceptions to this:

• I will continue to process registry orders.
• I will continue to accept payments for layaway orders (but any layaway orders that are paid off during July will not be packed and shipped until August).
• Local customers may continue to shop (either in person or via email) during July.

Please note, though, we will be out of town for portions of July. While we are out of town (camping), I will not have access to email, internet, or phone, and so obviously will be unable to continue even the above items.

Every year, I take most of the month of July as my vacation from Wallypop. (And also from teaching dance lessons, which we do 2-4 evenings a week.) It’s a nice break our family takes to spend time with each other.

I realize that many potential customers will decide to just shop somewhere else rather than wait a few weeks for their orders, and I accept that as a risk that comes with taking this break. But I’ve seen soooo many WAHMs get completely burned out from not taking a regular break for themselves – these WAHMs work while on vacation, even, taking a laptop and finding wireless hot spots along the way. I’m just simply not willing to do that to myself. All humans need a break, and that includes WAHMs.

I’ll be back at it on the 29th. In the meantime, I’m enjoying my family, doing some sewing and crafting for myself, finishing up a few projects around the house, and playing with my son.

(You can continue to place orders during our vacation, they will be processed once I reopen on the 29th.)

Thanks for your understanding about our sudden closure last week, and thanks for the many well-wishes we received. Between my mother’s broken hip/sudden discharge from the care facility, Wally’s surgery (he’s fine), and a planned weekend trip, I had reached the point that I could not possibly take care of everything at the same time. I have never closed my business due to overwhelming responsibilities elsewhere in my life, but I honestly felt I had no choice. My mom’s needs combined with Wally’s needs were just overwhelming and I couldn’t in good conscience continue to let orders pile up.

Those of you who are waiting for custom or made to order items from me, I have re-activated my “Status” page, which I do every time the custom orders start to pile up. You may keep updated as to the status of your order here. I am planning to uphold the two-week turnaround that is my standard on custom or made to order items. As usual, if it will be longer, I will be contacting you personally.

Household Cleaning

Household cleaning is one area that offers a lot of opportunities to save money while also living a little greener. Our society has grown accustomed to using harsh household chemicals, but these expensive – not to mention dangerous – cleaners are not the only choice.

In the Bathroom

Let’s start with the room that receives the harshest cleaning chemicals, the bathroom. Most American households use caustic cleaners in the toilet, bleach-based cleaners on the sink and shower, and still more chemicals on the floor and mirrors. Yikes!

Instead of using expensive harsh chemicals in your toilet, try mixing ¼ cup of baking soda with 1 cup of white vinegar. Pour into the toilet, let sit for a few minutes, then scrub. (Vinegar is antibacterial in nature.) Additionally, consider swishing the toilet with a toilet brush as part of your morning or evening routine. You’ll find that a quick swish every day keeps the toilet from getting too disgusting.

For the sink and shower, apple cider vinegar (or white vinegar) does a fine job of removing soap scum and hard-water deposits, as well as killing the bacteria that thrives in the humid environment of the bathroom.

If scrubbing is needed, try using baking soda. It’s mildly abrasive, but won’t scratch. If more abrasion is needed, a good scouring stone (pumice, available at hardware stores) will usually do the trick. Keep the stone wet and gently rub.)

For mold, spray on a solution of diluted hydrogen peroxide (available at pharmacies). Let sit for several minutes (15 or so) before scrubbing or rinsing.

In the Kitchen

Many families these days prefer to wash their produce with a special fruit and veggie wash meant to safely clean the produce better than simply rinsing them with water. A homemade alternative is to soak the produce in diluted vinegar – try ¼ cup of vinegar for a sinkful of water. Soak the produce for 15 minutes, then rinse and dry.

For oven cleaning, use your oven’s self-cleaning cycle, if it has one. Not only does this save labor, but there are no chemicals involved! If your oven is not self-cleaning, or if you have baked-on spills that need special attention, try dampening the interior of the oven with plain water (using a spray bottle), then sprinkling on a few layers of baking soda. Let the whole thing sit for a few hours, then scrub with a rag. Use steel wool for really tough spots.

For clogged sinks, pour a cup of baking soda down the drain and follow with a cup of vinegar. The chemical reaction that follows will help break down greasy clogs. Let this sit for a few minutes before pouring a panful of boiling water down the drain to help clear the clog.

The Whole House

For general cleaning – de-smudging, polishing, dusting, and wiping – consider purchasing some microfiber cleaning cloths. These cloths make clean-up a snap, and do a fine job of cleaning up without any chemicals at all. You can use them dry, or with plain water.

For hard-surface floors, you can’t beat the old-fashioned broom and dustpan, or the more modern Swiffer. (For an economical, nondisposable alternative to swiffer cloths, consider Sweet Sweepers.) Follow up with a mop and some hot, soapy water – just use plain old dish soap, no need for speciality floor cleaners.

There are a lot of good resources out there for economical, environmentally-friendly household cleaning. My favorite is a book called Clean House, Clean Planet.